One of the regular subjects that arises at every game session is food. However, when dealing with a gaming group, that subject doesn’t always go the direction you expect.
For instance, my gaming group recently went on adiet that actually has done wonders for us. I’ve lost 55 pounds since August, my co-publisher John has lost 40, my assistant Alister has lost 40 and the head of our gaming division Todd has lost 120. One of the side effects of this diet has been that we are eating VERY different from what we have for decades. One such change is Pumpkin Soup. It began when I was replaying Zelda:Twilight Princess. In the Snowpeak Ruins, you run across a fish/pumpkin/cheese soup. The first time, this sounded disgusting but this time, my new and slimmer body decided it liked that idea. I announced to the room that this diet was ruining me because that soup sounded good. We all agreed on two things: first, that yes, we were ruined and second, that it sounded good.
So Todd, our chef, went online and found that recipe. No fish, but sausage and mushrooms instead and when he served it the first time, the unanimous reply was, “Needs cheese.” So now we have cans of pumpkin in the cupboard at all times and have this sausage/pumpkin/cheese soup every week.
So, on our way to bowling, Todd says, “You know, that Pumpkin soup is fantastic, but it’s a real gut bomb. I mean, I ate that soup two hours ago and I’m still full.”
Alister says, “Maybe it’s still growing.”
Todd: “Still growing? You mean the pumpkin that was on a vine got cut down, cooked, pureed, put in a can, put on a shelf, purchased, put on another shelf, and cooked again is still growing. So, it’s a troll pumpkin.”
John: “Well, they do regenerate and it would explain why there’s always pumpkin soup in the fridge.”
Todd: “And not because Tonya wants it every week.”
Me: “Hey, I eat that stuff every day and there’s always more. Two quarts of pumpkin soup should NOT last 40 days.”
John: “I think they only fill the cans about 1/4 full and the pumpkin just expands.”
Todd: “Then, when it starts to bow to lid of the can, they put it in those larger cans.”
Alister: “And when it outgrows those, they move to the industrial kitchen ones.”
Todd: “Then I’m probably going to die soon because this troll pumpkin soup is still growing in my stomach and any second now, it’s going to burst out, Alien style.”
Me: “Nope. Your stomach acid is doing 1d6 of acid damage per round so eventually, you’ll kick it’s butt.”
Todd: “Thank Malar.”