In this first part of a 6 part series, I’m going to go through the break up from both sides. Side one will be from the person ready to breakup and get out. Side two will be from the person getting dumped. We’ll cover the common breakup reasons and help get the hell out of it or buck up and move on depending which side you are on.
Side one- “The Dumper” Part 1 of 3.
What if Romeo didn’t want to commit to Juliet? Maybe Cleopatra could no longer deal with Anthony’s fantasy football obsession? Let’s just say Eve wasn’t at all satisfied with Adam’s girth. (Maybe that’s why she started to talk to that damn snake in the first place.)
What ever the reason or who it is you know it’s time to get out. But how? When? Where? And then don’t forget about the dreaded “what about’s”. The “what about” is every possible excuse or roadblock in the breakup. Usually surrounding an event or plan the two of you have together. Holiday’s also count as a “what about”. “Right after his birthday we’re done”. “We just planned this damn trip” “We just bought this new Playstation together” and so on.
Let’s clear the air. All this crap is behind us. We waited for Christmas, the winter vacation together, and finally the lease is up. The time is now, and it’s time to strike. What’s the first step and more importantly why? What has changed about this person from when you first met them? The next paragraph might potentially save your relationship and get you in a happy place. Maybe.
If you’re going to take my advice, you can’t be a lazy SOB. You have to at least try the things I ask you to do. First thing I’m going to ask is for you to create a list. (I know you want out we’ll get there; just hold your horses.) Don’t rush this process. Really think everything through. maybe a good example would be to take a day for every year you were together. That’s more than fair. If you’ve been dating less than a year, take a couple of hours and play some video games. Then just don’t call them back….I’m kidding.
The following is some list examples.
1. I love the way they smell.
2. I love sex with them or myself.
3. They make a great burger.
4. He rubs me the right way
5. She likes to do that thing on me none of the other girls want to do.
Keep going. Do as many as you can and remember it doesn’t have to be just “Love” you should also put down the “likes”. Examples could be their friends, family, cat, and neighbors- whatever. Anything you notice and enjoy in their life circle.
Negative list examples-
1. He acts like a girl.
2. She has 4 toes
3. She lied and doesn’t really like that place I put my thing.
Now that your lists are complete one of them should be longer than the other. If not than a good heart to heart might be needed. Assuming hates out number the positives it’s time to begin.
Let’s rate the difficulty scale of how to get out. A “10” would be married, with 4 kids, a house, a dog, with two cats and all of your accounts are shared. Most of the time this scenario involves a third party and a hotel room at lunch.
A “1”, represents one of the parties leaving their body wash or shampoo at the other parties apartment. (My current girlfriend and I got in a tiff early on, and I had left a bar a soap at her apartment. When we made up she stated to me “I couldn’t throw that damn bar of soap in the garbage hard enough”.) Easy out. Just don’t return phone calls or emails and then drop them from facebook. Simple. I don’t recommend this; I’m just saying you could do it this way.
For the sake of the blog, the relationship is a “5”. You’ve been together about two years- You’re not living together – She has your favorite t-shirt-You call her mom for advice-She’s your sister’s best friend. This should be good.
In part 2, we’ll cover this hypothetical scenario on how much you have invested, how to get out, what to watch for after the breakup and potentially stay friends.