“And I had my hands there on his throat, and my knee was ready to kick him in the…”
Remember the Tampa Bay Derby Darlins’ Cat Fight Double Header‘s after party? Barely, I know, me too, but the drunk quoted above still reverberates in my memories. Curiously dividing up my otherwise monotonous workdays with that man’s rambling, half-hearted in the face of his recent defeat, braggadocio. And it’s these types of “escape from the work week” memories that the Tampa Bay Derby Darlins want to provide for you at their Sat Night Smackdown!
(Okay, I can’t promise you’ll be stuck in an endless conversation between me and a once-jumped drunk, as you probably have better social skills. You might make a friend or two. Though the longer you hang out there, the higher your chances seem to become…)
Regal all your work friends about how you’re “in the know” about our nation’s fastest growing sport! Laugh when your co-workers bemoan the current state of (american) football, then cut them to the bone with a perfectly timed, “they have to wear all those pads, and aren’t even on skates!?!” You’ll either be beloved or reviled, but either way they’ll know not to mess with you. (This will free up a lot of “personal time” for you. Might I suggest you begin boning up on your newly found favorite sport’s rules? I suggest you start here!)
Now I”m focusing on the after party here because all the derby action is usually covered here. But don’t let my incredibly awesome narratives fool you; even I, Tampa Bay’s foremost roller derby reporter, miss things! There’s literally a whole other side of the track that I, due to the limitations of our frail, corporeal, bodies, can’t physically watch! Who knows what goes on in front of the announcers’ table? You could!
Surely you’re asking, “where do I sign up?” Right here!:
WHAT: Roller derby, fool!
Sat Night Smackdown to be specific.
WHEN: Saturday, April 9th.
WHEN: 7:00 PM.
WHERE: USA Skateplex
5313 E. Busch Blvd
Temple Terrace, FL
HOW: [indignant response] about you show up for once? (I’m sorry, I take back that “fool” crack too. I’m not lashing out at you, the reader, I’m actually lashing out at me!) [Informative response]: …much? Glad you asked! It’s $12; cheaper for students, soldiers, other groups, and other derby personalities!