Recently I wrote a blog post about assumptions and first impressions. The reaility is that often we only have a “first impression” chance when interviewing. Consider though, that it is NOT ONLY about how you show up in that first impression, but how your reactions to the one interviewing you creates an additional dimension of that impression. So here is where assumptons can still affect you.
So if you are feeling defensive, or attacked or not understood in that interview – take a moment to breathe and consider how that feeling may materialize on your face or in your body. More than that – consider this:
The person interviewing you may have just gotten terribel news – or is reminded of someone that harned her in the past by the tie you are wearing – for example.. When we stop to realy consider all that life hands us everyday we become less judgemental about those around us – and in turn often “show up” in realy authentic, positve ways…
Here is a portion of the blog post:
Think about all that can affect a person’s mood and how and why they may behave in a specific way – then watch for themes and only then start – and just start – to make assumptions. How often have you said or heard a friend say, “It’s weird when I first met him – he was awesome and then it’s like he’s Jekyll and Hyde” or “She used to be so polished, I can’t understand why she has such an unprofessional and casual demeanor. She really took me off guard.” Of course sometimes we do change.
And often it was just that we had a very bad or a very good day when we first met someone. Still, it seems to me that a more powerful way to learn about another is to temper assumptions and to become adaptive in how we see others. At the point that we can digest themes or repeated behaviors is when it may serve us better to create our own interpretations of others and their intentions. Even then we can be wrong. Someone said to me recently “I try not to question the intention of others.” And my first reaction was to respond saying – “Sure but perhaps if we all questioned more – we may understand each other better.”
Upon further reflection I think I get what she is saying. We can analyze so much we misinterpret why someone acted in a particular way. I do believe there is a middle ground. Brains and minds need to make sense of surroundings and input in a way that takes the least amount of energy. I read in a book that our brain has the ability to use about as much energy as 40-watt light bulb. If this is the case, it makes sense that we rush to conclusions. We are trying to save energy. So, sure – we may have to rely on assumptions and quick interpretation of others. It’s a safety thing – it’s a survival thing – it a human thing. Can’t we though remind ourselves that we do this because our brain needs us to and that we can make mistakes? I just think it is a good thing to remember our environment affects us every day – which means it colors our interactions with others. We are not always what we appear to be. Understanding, open-minds, forgiveness, acceptance and inquisitiveness are empowering.