For our latest look at infidelity we are getting a man’s perspective on what goes on in some men’s mind when on the subject of “cheating”. In no way am I saying this is what ALL men think, however, from the answers given I think it gives us an honest and insightful look into the minds of some men. *Deunte is a 39 year old professional man from Dallas, at first glance you see an attractive man with the arrogance and confidence of Denzel and the swagger of Jay Z. However, after meeting him you find he has the intelligence of Barack Obama which is a dangerous combination for the single girl, you just know heartbreak is around the corner.
After reading his answers, you will find that you can’t always judge a book by its cover and past indiscretions are not the sum total of who a person is. Ladies I hope after you read this article and process his answers, you have a better understanding of how some men view women and how they view themselves. The goal of this series is not to glorify infidelity but hopefully to get a better understanding of why it happens and maybe what we can do to curtail it. Enjoy.
Why do you think men cheat?
At its core, cheating is a selfish act. So if anyone cheats, it’s because they are inherently selfish only thinking about themselves. Some say that men cheat because they can. But that’s bullshit. It’s about self control. It’s just harder for men to maintain self control because of testosterone, billions of sperm, 5 million years of evolution that dictates that men use their sperm to propagate the human race.
Do you believe that men are naturally wired to cheat or is it just an urban myth to allow bad behavior?
In the beginning, due to the man’s size and strength and inability to have children, the man’s job was to hunt, feed the tribe/village, protect his tribe and propagate to ensure the survival of his people. Conversely, women were smaller and softer who carry birth and nurse the children of the tribe. While the woman was with child, the man still had the primal urge to propagate and continued to plant his seed else where and so on. Then their is the shape of the woman. I believe genetically, we are more attracted to the physical curves of a woman due to man’s natural urge to spread his seed in women who are healthy with full child birthing hips, ass and tits. So much so that something happens that makes us forget the love we have for our woman at home. We see that ass and it’s a wrap.
I hear that monkey’s have sex every 10 minutes. Humans and monkeys have 98% identical genetic code. Come on now…at least we only think about sex every 10 minutes. That’s got to count for something.
What do you think of women who are fine with being the mistress?
I can’t fault women. There is a shortage of suitable men especially as a woman gets older. I can see where some women feel they have to settle on some part of a man because something is better than nothing.
Can a cheater be reformed or once a cheater always a cheater?
Again, cheating is a self control issue. It’s also habit forming. If a man cheat’s and gets away with it, he is more inclined to continue doing it. But it can and is often changed. There are plenty of men who were once dogs who are now very faithful to one woman.
Have you ever cheated? If not, would you? If so, why?
I don’t cheat. However, temptation is around every corner especially when you get into a relationship. But I have to admit that I’ve been at the end of a few relationships and strayed a bit. But I have to say that I cheated in those cases for the same reason women cheat. I wasn’t getting what I needed emotionally for my “ending” relationship. I was also young and dumb. With age come wisdom and the experience of having been cheated on so I would not inflict that pain on someone else.
Do you think infidelity ever has a happy ending?
The act of sex is a betrayal that hurts to the core. But, if the infidelity was just a lustful physical act then I think a woman could and should get over that if she truly loves the man and he love her. But if my woman ever cheated on me I would be done! I think most men feel this way. There is something about the thought of another man’s junk inside of your woman that a man just can’t deal with. It may sound like a double standard but there is something to the act of penetration that doesn’t put the two cheating acts on the same level.
Do you agree that a lot of the problems people have in relationships stem from childhood?
Hell, I don’t know. Of course. We are the sum total of our genetic code, parent’s DNA, childhood relationships with parents and the environment around us. Young boys will mirror the actions of their fathers and other adult men they look up to. The irony is that a young boy can grow up seeing his father mistreating his mother and hate him for it but still grow up to do the same thing. Some of that may be DNA passed down from father to son. Some of it is simply picked up. Who knows where it begins and ends.
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*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the participant.
As always we welcome your comments, please be respectful of yourself and the audience when leaving a comment.