Personal independence is key to living a fulfilling life and being happy. The problem is that when people get into relationships, infatuation takes over and co-dependence becomes the status quo. Immidiate happiness can be achieved in this type of situation but it cultivates a host of problems for the future.
It’s your job to take care from the beginning, right when you start dating, to take time for yourself. You should always be pursuing your own goals and hobbies as well as taking time to be reflective within yourself. If you don’t set this standard now, then when you do want your space you won’t be able to get it without fighting tooth and nail. Have your girls nights, have your family nights, have your you nights, take those nights and go into this glorious city and enjoy what God gave Denver and you.
But why should you do this? Here are three examples of strong Denver women who have taken charge of their lives and what has happened in the wake of their personal situations.
My Story: From the day we started dating we were inseparable, for two and a half years we spent every single day together. A few hours to go to work seemed far too long to be apart. Despite living in separate houses and claiming to lead separate lives we were unfortunately an old married couple at twenty. I sat back and looked at this situation and decided it was time for a change. We broke up. We have decided to step back and take time to reprioritize our lives so that when we do hit forty we don’t destroy our future family with our issues and insecurities. This was a drastic step to gain back my personal independence but it was nessesary for a healthy relationship in the future when it would better suit both of us. So far it’s been a successful learning experience and I’m glad to have done it and feel like a healthy future awaits both of us.
Here’s a example of a similar situation with a far different outcome, my new roommate.
V’s Story: Her and her man started living together the day they started dating. She left her parents house and moved in with him and their entire relationship has been one of co-habitation. For the first few years this worked and they were a happy couple but unfortunately the burden fell completely on her, she was the breadwinner and at nineteen that’s just not fair. She told her man goodbye, she gave him a year to go and grow up. She has given him some time to become the man she knows he can be. She has taken things really hard, she hasn’t spent a night alone in five years and now she spends every one alone except for her two dogs. Now a few days ago the man she loves came to her and told her that he wants to really break up, completely walk away forever. Needless to say she completely broke down, even was willing to drop her entire amazing life here to go to California with him. Now their story has yet to come to a true end because the confusing jerk has been saying “I love yous” for the last two days despite the claim he now wanted nothing to do with her, so go figure. Men are complicated too!
Lastly is an example of a co worker of mine.
Lars Story: She has been with her man for three years now, living with him for about two. He had to move to Wyoming for an amazing job oppourtunitiy. They decided it would be easier to break up than try to make somthing long distance really work. Their plan was to stay best friends and see where their lives took them. However here’s the issue, she has found somebody who could potentially be the man of her dreams and he is still clinging to her for dear life because she is all he ever knew. She even will tell you flat out she doesn’t love him like that anymore, she really has turned him into her friend and not her lover in a very short time. Despite the relationship stress she has taken a ton of time to herself and is enjoying her single life. She has started rock climbing and biking again and is loving the freedom to finally do the things she wants to do. She has taken her life back.
We don’t live in Amish country, we live in Denver, one of the biggest and funnest cities in the country. We have art, culture, music, and did you know we are considered to be the skinniest state? We have the most attractive looking people! So why would you ever waste your time on a dead beat? Take your indepence early and walk early if they don’t give it to you cause it isn’t always easy or worth it to try and get it later.
These three different outcomes were from the same initial breakup, take some time let’s see where life takes us. As you can see in some cases it’s a good thing and isn’t detrimental to the overall picture of the relationship and in others it completely destroys everything. This is why it is so vitally important that when you begin a relationship take time for yourself. You have your entire life to spend every waking moment with a person, later. Take the time now to live and love and do what you love, they are along for the ride and it they can’t stand you taking a night to yourself then walk away now before you can’t.