Here is a question that I recently got from a reader: I often get a woman’s phone number but then when I try to call her I only get voicemail and then I never get a call back from her or get to see her again. This happens after it appears she was interested when we first met. What can I do to get her to call back? How can I keep the spark of attraction going?
This is a question I’ve gotten many times before and there are several parts to the answer. However here are a few quick tips:
1) Establish attraction when you first meet her.
Focus first on sparking attraction with her so she wants to talk to you and meet you again. Be memorably attractive and a flirt the first time you meet her, even if you only have a few minutes. Attractive women get hit on by guys all the time and many often give a phone number even if they aren’t that attracted to a guy. So a phone number itself isn’t always a good indicator of how interested she is initially.
When you are more direct about your intent that you are attracted to her, she is less likely to give you a phone number if she is not interested romantically and more likely to respond if she is interested.
2) Make sure she knows it is you when you call.
When you get her number, call her phone until it rings. Tell her you’re dialing her so she can save your number and know who is calling. Then end the call and enter her name on the spot. She can then save your number off her call log. She will likely enter your name as a contact at the same time you are entering her name into your phone. In Washington, DC and other busy cities where business networking is common, this is a common occurrence.
3) Have something to talk about, so you aren’t starting a conversation cold.
You can do this by continuing the conversation by text message first. This could start with an immediate text not long after meeting her, and also one minutes before calling. Text messages are a great way to keep the conversation going with fun and witty text messages even though you are not talking by voice or face to face. Many cell phones now have threaded text messages which makes it feel much more like a conversation by instant message.
There are many benefits of text messages including the fact that busy people are often not in a situation where they can pick up the phone. This is especially true in the Washington, DC area where people are often either at work or in a social environment where they can’t talk.
A text message is less of an investment of time and energy for both of you and can be done whenever you have a free moment or while doing other things. You also have an opportunity to think about what you are going to say first. For some more info, see my next article on this topic or check out my text message seminar to learn more about how to see this demonstrated in actual examples of conversations by text message.
4) Don’t put too much meaning or pressure on yourself to “make it work.”
Even if you have an initial spark of attraction it still doesn’t mean anything will necessarily happen because of it. Be open to continuing to meet women wherever you go. Oftentimes your best interactions with women are after you have already warmed up by having a positive interaction with another.