Is your love life like a Sesame Street episode with grouches, monsters and frogs?
Our salon, a group of kindred spirits, gets together to discuss love, life and the wide wonderful world of dating. At the last gathering, it dawned on us that the men we were dating were straight out of Central Casting from: Sesame Street.
Cindy, who is sunny and sweet, was dating Charlie, who we all called ‘Oscar the Grouch’ because of his frequent dour moods. His opening line on Match.com was,” Don’t send any stupid winks, blinks – just write!” (red flag)
Despite his wonderful season tickets to the opera and the ballet, Cindy finally admitted they were not a match. His gloomy moods and lack of energy ( no hobbies/no exercise/reclusive) were an obvious dead end.
Breaking up- the next step On St Patrick’s day, Oscar presented her with a sleek new iPad. For months, Cindy had been seduced by all the new iPad hype. Her mantra had been “iWant – iPad.” Realistically, it didn’t take strength of character to return the slim, sexy, little the mouse free machine and cease-and-desist with Oscar. She can buy her own iPad. Happily.
For two weeks, Lisa, the paralegal, was exuberant about the cute new guy in her life, Johnny, the gregarious redhead. We called him “Elmo” because he was so sweet, and uncomplicated. What Lisa neglected to mention was Elmo didn’t have an ambitious bone in his body and had been unemployed for over three years.
Evidently, with all his charm and connections, he camped, a lot, at ‘friends’ homes. Our little Elmo was charming and fun to be with, but totally rootless. Unbeknownst to most of us, he was hovering on the precipice of homelessness. When Lisa put two and two together, she extricated herself from Elmo- realizing it was also dead end unless she wanted to support him. She didn’t.
Dueling Dates: Bert and Ernie
Bert and Ernie were the affectionate names we gave to Lynne’s dueling dates. We all marveled that Lynne dated two men concurrently- on Match.com both guys were sweet and sometimes available. The Bert guy flirted up a storm with Lynne – made major overtures and seemed great …Turns out – he was opinionated, not great around people, but dedicated and very good to Lynne. He was generous and organized interesting parties, yet he was a very distant and aloof host. Then there was the issue – Bert revealed he was not quite ‘single’ – just on a trial separation…and testing the waters.
The two evaporated from one another’s lives ~easily.
The Ernie character was like a puppy. He was outgoing, optimistic, convivial and always up for new experience. At first, Lynne was on Cloud 9. Ernie was newly divorced after a lengthy marriage and was exploring his new freedom and being suddenly single again. She began to see the “kid in a candy store” mentality Ernie gleefully displayed. He wanted to date around and date a lot. Fortunately, Lynne saw all the signs and bid Ernie happy trails.
Luis is the “the man”
Realistically? Everywoman wants to date Luis – the first human to move on to Sesame Street – he is a dreamy dreamer – a handy man – who serenades with a guitar and can fix anything. And, he specializes in toaster repair. That’s hot. His bio says “He is a dreamer who follows his heart, and is also an aspiring writer. He sings, plays the guitar, and teaches people about Hispanic culture and language.”That’s cool.
The Salon agreed we had met princes, monsters, gentlemen and grouches- it takes a village. So far: life is sweet and it was unanimous: no one wanted to live on Sesame Street… or Wisteria Lane.
“Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love. I’d stepped in it a few times” Rita Rudner
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