Dating dilemmas can be copious, occurring day in and day out.
Sometimes after awhile couples find themselves in a state of stagnation, not knowing how they got there. They may even awaken one morning to find themselves standing in front of the bathroom mirror in disbelief — asking themselves, ‘Should I stay or should I go?’ — as if the mirror is magically going to spell out a reply.
Whatever the circumstance that got them to this point, their main objective is to usually to get back to good.
As long as there is no physical abuse or infidelity that would warrant seeking a professional and likely a breakup, walking away is probably not the answer they seek.
And, unless there’s a notable change in the relationship (death in the family, job change), there are indeed some easy tips below to help couples fix what really isn’t really broken (the relationship isn’t really broken; there’s just a gap in the communication) — and with any hope, get them through those daily dating dilemmas.
Recognize that relationships go through difficulties — including dating relationships — and that it’s normal.
Work hard, understand, have patience — and work hard every single day.
Make time — and there’s no time like the present. Find at least two hours for the two of you to talk, because that’s how long it will take to have a solid discussion. Spend quality, quiet time. Make dinner or have take-out delivered (you don’t want interruptions that can occur at restaurants; complete privacy is best). (And not just for this talk — do this frequently.)
Be honest and speak from the heart — no holds barred. You have complete trust in each other, after all; so speak concisely about what it is you’re feeling, what you want, what you hope to accomplish.
Discuss your relationship’s future — stagnation can be caused by either too much arguing or pulling back; or sometimes life in general can get in the way (job, family, life-altering event); there’s no point in holding back how you feel. Why not go for the gusto? Keep in mind that only you know what is right for you, and only the two of you will know the level of passion that needs to be inserted here — perhaps you or your partner can lead your conversation based on each other’s answers from previous questions. The key here is communication.
Don’t let the discussion turn into a fight — never argue or go to bed angry; learn how to discuss rather than fight, and always ‘fight fair’ (look for my next article on how to fight fair).
These are just basic communication skills for couples, dating or otherwise. Keep in mind there are no hard and fast rules for couples, for life — let alone for absolute dating bliss. It’s about finding what works for you, applying it, working hard for what you want, having faith, and hoping for the best. Take a deep breath — exhale — and enjoy your dating relationship.
As always, the best of luck and for goodness sakes, don’t take life too seriously, smile and have some fun.
“Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.” –Robert Browning
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