Co-parenting is by far the best way to raise your children when you and your EX split.When parents split, it’s hard on everyone in the family, especially children. Children are the ones that love you both and are suffering from the absence of the other parent. It is a child’s right to have the best relationship possible with both biological parents. Children need to feel loved by both parents and need to know that they do not have to choose one parent over the other.
What is Co – parenting??
Co-parenting” (sometimes called “shared parenting”) is when both parents work together as a team to raise their children, even after the marriage or romantic relationship is over. This is not a skill that most people are taught,so you may have to do some learning along the way to find out the best wayto co-parent in your family. Even though you may not want to talk to the other parent after the romantic relationship ends, you still have a very important relationship, and it’s the most important one of all: a parenting relationship.
- How to communicate with your EX ??
- Make requests. Your EX is also your Childs parent. Remember you have equal rights to your child. Just because you gave birth, or ejaculated your child does not make you mightier than the other parent.
- Listen to your Ex.’s opinion. You don’t have to agree, but you do need to understand their point of view.
- Get your self some self control! Dont allow your EX to push your buttons. Your EX will be in your life forever, don’t let him/her get to you.
- Kid-focused discussions ONLY! Don’t bring up the past and what happened during your relationship. What he/she did to you has nothing to do with their parenting skills.
Improving your relationship with your EX?? (Remember this is for your child) There is a point where you will need to forgive your EX and let go of the past. Don’t allow them to control your life with the anger you have for him/her.Remember your children’s best interests as you move forward to improve your relationship.
- Get their opinion.
- Don’t speak negative about your EX (only talk about the positives) this will help you redirect your mind-set.
- If you are sorry, just say it.
- Don’t over react!
Is consistency that important? Yes, – It’s healthy for children to learn to be flexible, but they also need to know they’re living under the same basic set of expectations at each home. Aiming for consistency between your home and your ex’s avoids confusion for your children.
Working thru disagreements can be that easy. – As you co-parent, you and your ex WILL have disagreements over certain issues. Keep the following in mind as you try to come to an understanding with your ex.
- Respect can go a long way
- Keep talking
- Don’t sweat the small stuff
Just because you divorced your EX , doesn’t mean that your child should too. Research concludes the effects of divorce on children are far less when continued relationships with both parents and an atmosphere of support and cooperation between the parents exist. This, it is a well-established fact that a child experiencing the dissolution of the family structure will do better if the parents are able to get along and reduce trauma in an already traumatic experience. Co-parenting can be a viable option when it is implemented by parents who want it to work because they understand that the child’s needs supersede their own self interest, and it can be successful and rewarding for both the child and the parents.