You may have read the previous article “The 5 things men are doing wrong in bed and how to fix them.” Since that came out many male friends have asked, “What about the mistakes women make when it comes to sex?” “Surely we are not the only guilty ones.” This is very true and many women out there could certainly use a lesson on what not to do in bed. Once again, it is the responsibility of BOTH partners to actively participate in and learn about what it takes to have a healthy, exciting, fulfilling sex life.
Remember that a good sex life takes work and practice and willingness on the part of those involved to do both. If you are not happy with how things are going right now, there is always hope for improvement and lots of things you can do to turn things around and get the most from your sexual expression.
So to keep things equal between the sexes here, below is a list of six mistakes women make in bed and some advice on how to fix them.
1.Expecting your man to think like a woman. This is the cause of a lot of frustration for men and woman alike. Men are baffled by women and women don’t understand men. Expecting them to think alike is not only futile and a waste of time, it is a major cause for disagreements and tension. Men and women are different. Their brains are wired differently. This is one of the reasons communication is so important! Thinking men view sex or have the same sexual feelings and desires as women will contribute to an unsatisfying sexual experience.
2. Expecting him to be a mind reader. While this is an extension of the above, it is none the less very important. He cannot read your mind any more than you can read his. You must express your sexual needs and desires to him verbally. Many women find this difficult and uncomfortable. Women are often conditioned to be passive and view sex only for reproduction. Therefore, they have a hard time telling their partner what they like and what they don’t. They expect him to just know and he doesn’t.
3. Non-initiating sex. Why is it women thing they have to sit back and wait for him to make the first move? Why is HE the one who has to express the interest in sex in order for it to happen? Many men report that they would find it very hot and sexy if the woman took the lead once in a while. Call him at work and tell him you have a sexy, romantic night planned for him. He will be excited with the anticipation all day. Surprise him by waiting for him in sexy lingerie when he comes home. There is no end to the ways you can make him feel desirable and sexy. With a little imagination and effort, you can find exciting ways to initiate a passionate sexual encounter.
4. Refusing to be spontaneous! Sex does not always need to be a planned event. Men love it when women are spontaneous about sex! Telling him to pull the car over, grabbing him and kissing him as soon as he walks through the door, rolling over in the morning before he gets out of bed and telling him you want to start the day off right are just a few of the things you can do on the spur of the moment to liven things up. Not only will he be pleasantly surprised, but he will be impressed!
5. Not having sex anywhere but the bedroom. Not only does this get boring but it is also very limiting. Use the kitchen table, the couch, the lawn furniture, the car, the tub and shower and anything else you can think of. Monotony is a sexual killer. Don’t be afraid to mix it up!!
6. Controlling him by withdrawing or withholding sex. One of the unhealthiest things a person can do in a relationship is use sex as a weapon. That is not what it was designed for! Sex is something that should bring people closer together and give them pleasure. Cutting off the love supply because you are pissed off is not cool. That is not to say you should consent to sex when you are not in the mood or do not want to have sex with someone. You should not just go along with it because you don’t know how to get out of it and you should never let anyone pressure you or intimidate you into have sex. This includes making a conscious decision and effort to withhold sex to get even with him or teach him a lesson because you had a disagreement. Sex is not a tool for manipulation.
These are just a few things to consider and get you started on your way to have a healthy, loving and exciting sex life. If you keep these in mind and make an effort to work on the problem areas you will be well on your way to improving your relationship and your sexual communication!