Are you looking for a relationship? Spring is in the air. Time for budding romances. Holding hands while walking along the promenade. Hanging out in the park. Who wants to be alone in the spring time? I sure don’t and neither do you. So, what do we do?
1. Get Out There. Be proactive. Now is not the time to play coy. If you get an invitation to the party, go. If people at work are going out for drinks after work, go. If your friends have someone they’d like you to meet, go. If an old ‘friend’ hits you up on facebook for coffee, go.
Now is also not the time to worry about someone turning you down. If you want to ask her out, do it. If you want to call the guy first, call him. If your mom wants you to go with her to see The Lion King, go. (How is this related? Well, you never know where you will meet that special someone). I think you get the point.
My advice is to go wherever and whenever you can! This is one of the few times that you can mention ‘serial dating’ to me and I won’t frown upon it.
2. Don’t Settle. If you’re just looking for a spring fling, don’t worry about settling; it will be over before you can blink anyway. However, if you’re hoping that this new relationship will develop into a long term romance, you must not compromise! You know exactly what you want and need. Don’t let your desperation make you lose sight of this.
If you tend to end up in the same types of dead-end relationships over and over, critique yourself, not your partners. What are the bad choices that you make time and time again? Proclivity for the bad boy? Attraction to the trophy-wife type?
My advice is to stay in touch with yourself. Stop, think and listen to your instincts. Do not get so caught up in the superficial aspects that you can not evaluate the relationship potential clearly. Get what you want!
3. Give Love Tough Love. NGBs (Nice Guy/Girl….But) need not apply! Avoid idealizing your mate. Recognize your potential partner’s true weaknesses. How many times have you heard: ‘He’s nice but he’s boring’…‘He has money but he’s not cute at all’… ‘She’s nice but not that attractive…? Compatibility is key!
If you love to laugh so much so that people know you by the timbre of your laughter because it’s infectious and you enjoy laughing out loud, the nice but humorless, serious and straight-laced guy is not for you no matter how nice (or good-looking!) he is (Note to self: Remember this!).
My advice is to demand what you expect and give it in return. If you want honesty, give it and demand it! If you appreciate random acts of kindness, give it and demand it! If you want great sex, give it and demand it!
4. Don’t ‘Time’ Love.This is probably the only time that you should want to be sucker-punched. You want love to pop up out of the blue and take you by surprise! You want to look around and say, “Wha…Wha….What was that?’ Timing love is one of my biggest pet peeves. Yet, people are always trying to do just that.
I constantly hear people pining over their lack of a relationship, the inability to find true love, and so forth and so on. However, they are also constantly trying to fit love into their schedules: ‘I can’t settle down until I finish school’…‘I can’t get into a serious relationship until I have X amount of money’…What happens when you try to time love is that you miss out on so many wonderful possibilities.
My advice is to let love happen.
5. Hold Out. On sex, that is. USA Today recently ran an article, titled ‘Is Dating Dead?’ about how college students who are often stretched for time are skipping the dating part and going straight to the hook-up. B-I-G mistake.
Sex muddies the water, clouds the emotions, makes you think you like someone that you really don’t like. Some people like to jump straight into the proverbial sack. Boring (in a sing-song voice). Where is the romance in that? In fact, it is so much more fun to want to do ‘it’, but then not allow yourself to do ‘it’. When you finally have sex, it will be electric, amazing, and powerful.
Without boring you with a slew of moral platitudes, my advice is to hold out.